Funny Papers

Waiving Cats

Ext. Dawn. A Funny Papers quietly hits the front door.

Title Screen: Funny Papers

Int. Sunrise. Like every morning, the computer calls – wake up! wake up!

Our protagonist stumbles over and shuts off the alarm. The computer immediately switches over to an inbox of 193 unread, URGENT emails. Coffee slides into her hand.

As she sits down to answer them, a gust of wind pushes open the front door – revealing the flapping Funny Papers. Comics blowing in the breeze, characters shining in the sun.

ANIMATED FAT CAT

(calling out from the flapping page of the funny paper)

Hey! What’s you always staring at that screen for?

A MOUSE ONE FRAME OVER

Yeah! Is you tied to that chair or something? How comes you never come out here and play no more?

The pages flip through – every page in the bundle is a comic, no normal news articles – they all call out as their page blows by.

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

Yeah, come out and play, come out and play, come out and play…

Just beyond the Funny Papers, a child sits, drawing with chalk on the ground.  To her delight, her scribbles come alive one by one and dance about her.

Our protagonist wants to join and begins to meekly shut her computer. A buzzer sounds. The screen flashes red. Urgent! Urgent!

She flips it back open. Ready to work. But wait. NO! They can’t bully her to stay behind her computer. She resolutely decides to shut down her computer. She makes an exaggerated gesture to shut it down and.., Wow, what’s this.

A flashing green email. Congratulations! She got a promotion. More money. Money! Money! Money!

We dance through the dreams of her adult head. Cocktail parties, fancy dresses,  diamond rings, nice cars, respect! Her name in the paper. The paper! The Paper! The paper…. it’s all so boring and grey. No comics anywhere.

She’s suddenly trapped in a cell. Surrounded by meaningless numbers, divided by decimal points.  The headline reads, “This Is All Make Believe” Sub-headline, “And Everyone’s Buying It!”

Int. Sunrise. Wake up! Wake Up! Calls the computer. Our protagonist opens her eyes and stumbles over to the computer, turning off the alarm. Coffee slides into her hand. Her computer reads 27 emails. Not bad… until more begin to ping in faster and faster.  Heart sinking…

There’s a thump at the door. She looks over and feels hope. She looks back to her computer. 42 emails and counting… She takes a deep breath and shuts the screen. As she folds the computer in on itself a final explosion of noise and doubt rings out, buzzers flash, promotions fly in.

Closed! Silence.

Our protagonist looks around and slowly walks to the door and opens it. A newspaper sits, bundled up on the stoop.

She bends down, and picks it up. She glances at a few repulsive headlines, passing them quickly to find the Funny Papers. She discards the rest of the newspaper and steps outside. The door shuts and our protagonist walks away into the morning sunlight, giggling at the Funny Papers.

 

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