Fake News

Reporter Lady

Ext. A beach town reminiscent of Puerto Rico. A female reporter faces the camera, mic in hand.

REPORTER

How would it feel to turn 1 thousand dollars, into 1 million dollars? Even better, how would it feel to do that before the age of 30? That’s exactly what local resident Derek Feign did this last year by trading crypto currency.

We cut to the same reporter conducting a previously recorded interview with Derek Feign inside his home. Derek is a young, surfer type. Derek is showing the reporter his surfboards, his audio is faint in the back as narration is in the forefront.

DEREK
I got this board for the days where I’m just riding easy rollers. I got this…

NARRATOR
Derek Feign. 28 years old. College drop out. Millionaire.

Audio Fade in reporter and Derek.

REPORTER
And you bought all these surfboards using crypto currency?

DEREK
Pretty much, I mean like I didn’t walk into the surf shop and buy this long board with Tron. I cashed out when Tron was at .22 and used the USD for the board. But like, those earnings came from Tron.

Cliche trading charts, graphs and coin symbols cover the screen.

NARRATOR

Tron is a popular crypto currency. One of hundreds of digital coins that Derek bought back in 2017 and sold earlier this year for a pretty digital penny.

Back to DEREK and REPORTER.

REPORTER
So let’s back up, how’d you get into crypto currency in the first place?

DEREK
Poker. I was playing on this site that used bitcoin way back when bitcoin was only a few bucks.

DEREK is now sitting at his computer, clearly winning/losing money at something.

DEREK (continued)

And like, I had a couple hundred bitcoins in there and just never bothered to cash out and then one day my buddy called me up and was like

Back to DEREK and REPORTER.

DEREK (Continued)

“Broo, have you checked your poker stash lately?” And that’s when I looked and bitcoin had mooned to like a couple thousand dollars a coin and that’s when I was like, ohhhh, I should pay attention to this.

Footage of Derek showing the reporter EtherRoll (rather than a trading platform), faintly in the background you hear him talking about how ‘you make your own luck.’

NARRATOR

And pay attention he did. Not only to Bitcoin, but to alt coins, which means any digital currency other than Bitcoin. Many of these digital currencies rose in value by as much as 10000% percent over the course of last year, only to come crashing back down.

REPORTER

And how’d you know when to take your winnings and get out?

DEREK

Honestly, like, I just knew or something. Like to use a simile, I could feel this wave might end,

Cut to Derek paddling out into the waves on a foam board.

DEREK (Continued)

and like if I didn’t jump off now, I would ride it for too long and have to paddle all the way back out past the breakers again, so I don’t know, I just bailed, ya know?

Cut to Derek shakily riding a foam board on a small wave.

DEREK

And I’m glad I did because now I can just keep surfing.

Back to our reporter in real time, addressing the camera with the mic.

REPORTER (chuckles)

While Derek may have retired from Blockchain, many top tier firms and technology experts have not. Despite falling prices, the consensus among experts is that the initial price run up was caused by unnatural hype and speculation from people like Derek. Now that things have returned to normal, speculators have exited the space and the true blockchain revolution is about to begin.

Table of anchors at local news desk.

MALE ANCHOR
Thank you Andrea. And up next, how a local woman found baby chickens in her underwear.

 

Paw & Patsy

Polar bears and submarines

Part 1A:

Ext. A majestic arctic ice shelf. A male and female polar bear (bi-polar bears) walk side by side through the lightly falling snow.

We move in closer to see that the larger, male polar bear, Paw, is not happy. Making the entire mood bad.

PAW

It was not that far. We easily could have made the swim, ate a few seals and been back to our ice shelf by tomorrow.

PATSY

Would you just drop it Paw? I didn’t want to spend another night out. That should be enough.

PAW

Enough? Enough of what!? I’m starving. Woo.. what’s this?

The two polar bears have spotted something and abruptly change gears. The entire mood is now happy.

PATSY

It looks beautiful.

Paw, disgusted but happy, is spitting out what little bit of the frozen material he could bite off.

PAW (delightedly)

It tastes.. well.. terrible!

PATSY & PAW

WOAHHHH!

Suddenly whatever it is they found seems to come alive. The entire ice is rising around them. They scamper backward and see…

PAW (Confused)

Wait.. that did not taste like a whale…

Our two arctic beasts have stumbled upon a submarine and now stand eye to eye with two soldiers peering through the windows.

Read Pt. 1B Here