Dear Dumb Candy,

Two candies lived side by side.

One candy was very stupid.

The other candy was very dumb.

The stupid candy often thought he could forge ahead.

The dumb candy would follow him.

How silly these two candies were.

But ignorance is bliss,

And at least they had each other.

The End.

Inspired by my one and only Sweetie – my candy, my wrapper, and the mouth who loves me most. I love you dearly. The bitter and the sweet.


Stupid Candy


The Candy and The Wrapper

Candy in Wrapper

The candy lived in the open. He felt the good and bad of the breeze.

One day, when the wind was blowing particular hard, the candy met a wrapper who offered him protection from the ever changing winds of fortune.

The candy knew he’d miss the breeze, but his cheeks were chapped and so he joined with the wrapper and closed himself off to the outside world.

At first, life inside the wrapper was absolutely marvelous. Each morning the candy woke up in an ideal state of comfort.

Anywhere the candy went, no matter how exotic, conditions remained ideal. The wrapper loved the candy and the candy loved the wrapper.

But eventually the candy’s definition of ideal changed and he began to fidget, which made the wrapper squeeze tighter.

Inside the wrapper, the candy knew he was mostly happy, but also knew he was mostly shut off from the world.

What the candy didn’t know was what to do next, because with each day he grew more comfortable, he also grew more constrained.

…to be continued…


Lift ’em Up

Hot Air Balloon InventorHe wanted to help them look down on the tallest rooftop.

So he cut back on sleep and used his bedsheets to construct a balloon.

He didn’t waste any hot air promising the people. It was all put into the balloon.

After decades of crashes and complaints, he finally created the first hot air balloon safe enough for others to ride.

Watching from the ground, he never felt higher.



Fake News

Reporter Lady

Ext. A beach town reminiscent of Puerto Rico. A female reporter faces the camera, mic in hand.


How would it feel to turn 1 thousand dollars, into 1 million dollars? Even better, how would it feel to do that before the age of 30? That’s exactly what local resident Derek Feign did this last year by trading crypto currency.

We cut to the same reporter conducting a previously recorded interview with Derek Feign inside his home. Derek is a young, surfer type. Derek is showing the reporter his surfboards, his audio is faint in the back as narration is in the forefront.

I got this board for the days where I’m just riding easy rollers. I got this…

Derek Feign. 28 years old. College drop out. Millionaire.

Audio Fade in reporter and Derek.

And you bought all these surfboards using crypto currency?

Pretty much, I mean like I didn’t walk into the surf shop and buy this long board with Tron. I cashed out when Tron was at .22 and used the USD for the board. But like, those earnings came from Tron.

Cliche trading charts, graphs and coin symbols cover the screen.


Tron is a popular crypto currency. One of hundreds of digital coins that Derek bought back in 2017 and sold earlier this year for a pretty digital penny.


So let’s back up, how’d you get into crypto currency in the first place?

Poker. I was playing on this site that used bitcoin way back when bitcoin was only a few bucks.

DEREK is now sitting at his computer, clearly winning/losing money at something.

DEREK (continued)

And like, I had a couple hundred bitcoins in there and just never bothered to cash out and then one day my buddy called me up and was like


DEREK (Continued)

“Broo, have you checked your poker stash lately?” And that’s when I looked and bitcoin had mooned to like a couple thousand dollars a coin and that’s when I was like, ohhhh, I should pay attention to this.

Footage of Derek showing the reporter EtherRoll (rather than a trading platform), faintly in the background you hear him talking about how ‘you make your own luck.’


And pay attention he did. Not only to Bitcoin, but to alt coins, which means any digital currency other than Bitcoin. Many of these digital currencies rose in value by as much as 10000% percent over the course of last year, only to come crashing back down.


And how’d you know when to take your winnings and get out?


Honestly, like, I just knew or something. Like to use a simile, I could feel this wave might end,

Cut to Derek paddling out into the waves on a foam board.

DEREK (Continued)

and like if I didn’t jump off now, I would ride it for too long and have to paddle all the way back out past the breakers again, so I don’t know, I just bailed, ya know?

Cut to Derek shakily riding a foam board on a small wave.


And I’m glad I did because now I can just keep surfing.

Back to our reporter in real time, addressing the camera with the mic.

REPORTER (chuckles)

While Derek may have retired from Blockchain, many top tier firms and technology experts have not. Despite falling prices, the consensus among experts is that the initial price run up was caused by unnatural hype and speculation from people like Derek. Now that things have returned to normal, speculators have exited the space and the true blockchain revolution is about to begin.

Table of anchors at local news desk.

Thank you Andrea. And up next, how a local woman found baby chickens in her underwear.


Hustling Buddhas


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Our mission is to present systems that enable people to succeed at life on their own terms.

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Your best life is here,

Hustling Buddhas

The Human Race

Finish Where You End

Ext. Trail Race. Participants of all shapes, sizes, and species appear at the starting line.



The cheetah sprints ahead. The antelope gallops right. The elephant plods left. The bird flies up. The gopher digs down. The human turns around and asks…


Where’s the finish line?

The human is all alone, but the flag sticking out of the starting gun says, “Finish where you end.”

The Next Step

The Next StepIf you Google your symptoms, you may find you have hypochondria.  I don’t know if anyone ever died from hypochondria, but it’s sure wasted a lot of life.

To cure hypochondria, unplug your modem, take a walk outside, and look at some ants.

Ants don’t worry about getting stepped on. They go about their lives in bliss and if they get stepped on, well that’s about it. Most of the time they don’t even know they got squashed (on account of it being a sudden death and all.)

But even if it does turn out to be a slow, painful death, no ant ever wasted its good days worrying about the next step.