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Dear Dumb Candy,

Two candies lived side by side. One candy was very stupid. The other candy was very dumb. The stupid candy often thought he could forge ahead. The dumb candy would follow him. How silly these two candies were. But ignorance is bliss, And at least they had each other. The End. — Inspired by my…
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The Boxer

He would fight to make life better. The winnings paid the bills. The boxer beat the devil, because he never lost his will.  

Lift ’em Up

He wanted to help them look down on the tallest rooftop. So he cut back on sleep and used his bedsheets to construct a balloon. He didn’t waste any hot air promising the people. It was all put into the balloon. After decades of crashes and complaints, he finally created the first hot air balloon…
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Fake News

Ext. A beach town reminiscent of Puerto Rico. A female reporter faces the camera, mic in hand. REPORTER How would it feel to turn 1 thousand dollars, into 1 million dollars? Even better, how would it feel to do that before the age of 30? That’s exactly what local resident Derek Feign did this last…
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Hungover: The Potion in The Pit

He wanted to be a hero, but he lacked a special potion. Luckily, there was a potion in the pit and a potion on the hill. The pit seemed easier, so he tied one end of the rope to a tree stump and the other end of the rope to his ankle and lowered himself…
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Funny Papers

Ext. Dawn. A Funny Papers quietly hits the front door. Title Screen: Funny Papers Int. Sunrise. Like every morning, the computer calls – wake up! wake up! Our protagonist stumbles over and shuts off the alarm. The computer immediately switches over to an inbox of 193 unread, URGENT emails. Coffee slides into her hand. As…
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Death of a Pirate

I’m writing this from a pirate ship, but I’m not a pirate nor do I know how to write. Wait, what? I’m writing right now, and, Ah!, what’s this eyepatch!? What type of whacky world is this? “So ye don’t think ye’s a pirate do ya?” Squawks a pirate parrot somewhere off in my blindspot,…
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The Backseat

The backseat was scary. He was used to driving, or at least riding shotgun. He wasn’t scared they would lose control, or even that they’d leave him at a gas station one day when he went in for a soda. (At least that would force his hand.) No, what scared him was that when they made…
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Be Where Now?

“He kept saying, ‘Be Here Now’ and when I asked, ‘Be where now?’ He kept giving me those stupid answers like, ‘The only place you can be, here and now.’ I bought his book and everything. Nothing! It pisses me off, because I’m genuinely putting in a lot of effort to become enlightened and stuff.’…
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Message In A Bottle

“What are you doing?” “Drinking my way to sadness.” “Why?” “Sadness helps me write.” “Why do you need to write?” “Writing makes me happy.” “oh.”